Archive for October, 2008

Happy Halloween

Friday, October 31st, 2008

halloweenplay.jpg

I am putting the over/under at five doorbell rings at our home. I’d bet the under. We’ve had one…me! I like nerds and we have a ton of them.

I want Junior back

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Now that the White Sox have officially declined to pick up Ken Griffey, Jr.’s option…I say bring him back to Seattle. Roll out the red carpet. It’s sentimental and cheesy, but screw everyone that cares how the Mariners rebuild and want to complain they have a token that we love along for the ride. Open arms. I’ve said it for a couple of years.

He might be the only Seattle athlete that left and I thought, and from day one, no harm no foul. The M’s have to rebuild, anyway. It’s not a shocker they will suck for a couple of years.

Junior! Just do it.

Dreams are funny just before you wake up

Friday, October 31st, 2008

I had a wild dream the other morning. I dreamt like I was right out of a Joseph Heller story. I was in the Navy, and couldn’t get a military ID, until I got my civilian ID at a port in a strange country, but I couldn’t get my ID there unless I had a military ID, and the military wouldn’t let me off the ship to do anything because I was assigned to quarters.

Catch all that?

I have read that these dreams probably last four minutes or something.

I just happened to wake up and have a snap-to moment that it was pretty funny as a story. Of course, it’s kind of taken from Catch-22, but it was so well planned out in the dream, it startled me. I even had details like how we had to keep re-parking the ship because of regulations from the port, and how regulations from the military trumped those regulations until the port refused unless they parked a “certain way.” This was an entire debate about who gets to control what in an international port.

The dream was so detailed I can remember my main character writing that the port should be referred to as “sport” but that would give an “unfair advantage to someone in the debate about who is more macho.”

Jeeeeze…I haven’t read Catch-22 in almost 22 years…what brought this on? But it was like I was writing in my head while I was asleep. Then, I woke up, and realized it’s old material.

Do we dream different just before we wake up? I dunno…but I wouldn’t argue with the idea.

Lust at first sight

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

You know the old saying, if you have to ask, you can never afford it?

Ummmm…I’m not really into new cars, or muscle cars, but I like Shelby stuff particularly and I wanted to see one. Forget the fact you could buy, I’m not kidding, three regular Shelbys for the price of a new KR…it just seemed like a myth thing to go look at and sit in. And it completely met my expectations. I couldn’t afford it in my dreams, nor would I spend the money on one, but I actually started fooling myself into thinking about “What ifs” and how you could make money off it as a show car. Or even a wedding car. Then I snapped back to reality.

The funny thing is that I have seen 10s of thousands of collector cars in my years with the museum and stuff, and this is just so completely bonifide as a good investment, it would be like putting money in the bank. Even P heard the price and didn’t flinch that it was a good investment value…and she knows half as much about cars as I do. We looked at it for more than an hour, and never really got bored with it. Even Big A could tell it was special.

But it’s out of my league so far its ridiculous. The nice thing was that I know some of the guys at the dealership, and they treated me like I could just write them a check…which I suppose I could with another mortgage on my homes equity. So I justified my indulgence with the lie to myself that I could by the car.

Seriously, though…they are a good buy if you have the money, the heated garage, and you baby the hell out of it. Not where I’m at in life. Not even close.

And to be honest….I never asked how much it really cost. I about know. See, that’s the otherside of the equation…if you know not to ask, you know you can’t afford it. The trick is to not start acting like it doesn’t matter.

I really think the blue one they had, though, would make a very cool wedding car. It would be something old, something blue, something borrowed and something new….if you stretched the definition of those things. It’s a twisted mind that looks at a car like that and thinks every second marriage guy in his 50s would kill to see it waiting for him.

Oh, that’s the other thing. It’s something like 550 HP with a fiberglass body. Mind boggling. It would be the fastest exit from a wedding in history.

The hubbub This Morning

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Standard car chase, but the driver kept doubling back. Yawn. They got him or her with spike strips at a nearby intersection.

It would make a cool picture

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

I had a beard hair that I tried photographing so many times it should be on my personal walk of fame.

Get this…it is black, then it’s red, then it’s white and then it’s red and then it’s black and then it’s white.

It’s a Skittles of hair.

It’s Frank and Stevie. “You are blind as a bat and I have sight, you’re my amigo negro, let’s not fight.”

You’ve got to be kidding me that one hair from my beard looks like it was dumped out of a Skittles package in no country for old farts.

So I tried every camera in the house to take a picture of it, and nothing is coming close. It’s the beard hair that refuses to be recorded. Which is fine by me. Who wants a red beard anyway and look like a role character from “30 Something.”

Just another thought in the darkness of the morning

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

It might have been an airplane crash. I don’t think it was, but I was thinking it would make sense. Funny I am so use to living on the airport that that didn’t occur to me. I really, honestly, did not think of it initially.

What’s weird living on the airport is that I couldn’t even tell you if I heard anything odd with the airplane traffic. It’s soooooo true that you just quit hearing it. You hear things normally, but you get so wound up in your day, it just can get lost.

And I can’t hear squat.

SO just as I typing that last post

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

All hell broke loose in my neighborhood. Cop cars and sirens living together!

The kicker is that I can’t let Scout out, and she is going nuts. But there are a ton of cops with lights on and even more with lights off — just going fast back and forth. Probably nothing. I only got a little nervous when I realized it was more lights out than lights on. All driving really fast.

Poor Scoutmeister. Seriously, she is screwed because she knows something weird is happening and she can’t really do shit or shinola. And I won’t let her out because I can’t figure out why it looks like Y2K panic around the ‘hood. I think, think, it’s a housefire, but I’m not sure and probably won’t know for a day or two. The other big possibility is that it was a police chase, wouldn’t shock me…only there is too much hanging around here by the police. But I live in an area that has been featured on Cops so many times we should get royalties.

I double checked all the locks and turned the alarm on. Poor Scout.

I’m going with fire, though. Who knows…

I need a time out

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

I was fiddling with a canvess today and I just said I was tired. I am sick of not knowing how to make anything of it, but seeing that it’s good stuff. It reminded me of a moment…

Let me bore you with it…

I was sitting in a parking lot just outside of St. Louis at a truck stop. As I was sitting there I was thinking about how all these truck drivers are going in and eating at 2 a.m. and I was sitting outside watching them. Then I started thinking about the fact I was watching them and they didn’t care about me. And THEN, it turned into a feeling like I couldn’t understand how they didn’t care about me, but I cared about them. So I cared about them and I was just some creepy guy sitting in a parking lot wondering about how I cared about them in comparison to how they cared about me, and then deciding I have to quit caring. So, how did I end up in a rented SUV just outside of St. Louis and watching truck drivers at 2 a.m. Well, things like that just kind of happen to me sometimes. It was all planned but it was weird like I was looking at something abstract, knowing it wasn’t. I could bore you with explaining all the details, but I was sitting in the damn parking lot thinking on a conscious level that it was all interesting.

Let me tell you that it’s the way art goes. You need to just not worry about stuff, but sometimes stuff gets in the way and you should just stop. Smell the roses.

No there there

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Watched the whole Obama commercial. And I thought…it needs commercials!

The McKinstry reference was out of left field, for a Washington kid, but if you have to pee…it needed some breaks. It’s crazy sounding, but why not sell commericals during your commerial?

Seriously…make it end. Just make it end.